


Why Do I Have to Have a Chaperone?

by SXH1417



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Edgepuff, M/M, Overprotective Sans, Swearing, mentioned datecrashing, mentioned kustard, papyrus just wants the date to be perfect, sassy papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:05:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SXH1417/pseuds/SXH1417
Summary: Papyrus just wanted his first date to go smoothly... but, Sans kinda stepped in and said no.





	Why Do I Have to Have a Chaperone?

**Author's Note:**

> This was a wonderful request from trashy-lagt on Tumblr.
> 
> Originally, I had them go on their date and everything, but I just wasn't feeling it. It was too rushed. And if this one also feels too rushed, I apologize. I realized I was reaching the maximum word limit and had to cut it down a little. Even then, I went over just a bit.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you all enjoy!

_How did it come to this?_ Papyrus thought with no little amount of exasperation. The brothers from Underswap, Underfell, and Undertale were all in Grillby’s. Edge and Sans were arguing in the relatively empty restaurant while everyone else – except Papyrus – was watching. Papyrus was tiredly sipping at his milkshake while ignoring the bickering going on in the background. He really wished he could order an alcoholic drink, but Grillby advised against it.

Papyrus sighed as he ordered yet another milkshake. He clung to the little doll Edge had gotten him while at the carnival today. They had the deal that Papyrus would buy the tickets while Edge would pay for the games and half the food. The doll he got was a little plushie that looked like an edgy teddybear with an attitude problem and anger issues. It was right up Edge’s alley…

“damnit, Edge! i told you my rules about dating him!”

“IT WAS HIS DECISION, YOU ASSHAT! WHAT PART OF THAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING!”

Papyrus flinched a little, not really wanting to be there at that moment. First dates were supposed to go great! And… well… he’d forgotten to tell Sans about it and now he was pissed at Edge and blaming him. Their bickering had gotten all three kicked out of the carnival.

“wow… they’ve really been at it a while,” Red commented with a little whistle. “what set them off this time again?” Of course, Red hadn’t been paying attention.

“Edge Took Papyrus Out On A Date Without A Chaperone,” Blue supplied, petting Papyrus’s back softly.

“what the fuck do they need a chaperone for? they’re adults. If they wanna fuck then they can.”

“Language!” Blue admonished.

“Red’s right about that, Sans,” Stretch called to the two bickering. “the two of them are old enough to make their own decisions. you didn’t need to butt in on their date when they were just havin’ some innocent fun.”

“FOR ONCE YOU ARE RIGHT, ASHTRASH,” Edge agreed with a smug expression. This wouldn’t end well.

That started another round of bickering that would likely not get resolved for hours upon hours to come. Papyrus laid his head on the bar, wishing someone would just teleport him to a different dimension. Or the void. He could at least say hello to Dad there.

Grillby smiled reassuringly at him, hoping to cheer him up, even if only a little. The situation was awful, but it was an unspoken rule with Grillby that he would listen but not state his opinion. It saddened Papyrus. Grillby often gave sound advice… when it wasn’t about one of his patrons. As Papyrus sat there, he slowly grew more and more irritated.

His friends were right. He and Edge were grown adults. They had a right to privacy and the right to make their own decisions. And listening to Sans’s excuses and reasons as to why he shouldn’t be left alone with Edge only served to piss him off.

“ **ENOUGH!** ” Papyrus yelled and whipped around to throw his teddybear at the nearest offender. That just so happened to be Sans.

“Papyrus?! what the fuck?” Sans shouted as he clenched onto his face, more surprised by the attack than hurt.

“NIP IT, SANS! I AM SICK OF THE OVERPROTECTIVE, OVERBEARING, OVERWHELMING BROTHERLY ATTITUDE. EDGE AND I ARE DATING. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU CAN MARCH YOUR COCCYX RIGHT OUT THAT DOOR SO THAT EDGE AND I CAN CONTINUE OUR DATE – THE ONE YOU SO RUDELY CRASHED.”

“but-“

“NO! STOP. I REFUSE TO HEAR IT. MY DATING EDGE IS NO DIFFERENT FROM YOU DATING RED. I NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU NOT HAVING A CHAPERONE ON YOUR EXCURSIONS. I DON’T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU BRING RED BACK HOME. AND I CERTAINLY DON’T COMPLAIN WHEN I HEAR YOU TWO HAVING SEX UPSTAIRS.”

“jeez, Paps. tone it down a bit,” Red pleased, looking very red in the face.

Ignoring Red’s statement, Papyrus continued. “YOU AND RED WANT PRIVACY? I LEAVE. I LEAVE EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. AND THIS – “ Papyrus gestured to Edge and Sans. “– IS THE THANKS I GET. NEXT TIME I GET FRONT ROW SEATS TO YOUR CANOODLING AND TELL YOU HOW TERRIBLE RED IS. I’M SURE THAT WILL GO OVER _SO WELL_.”

“Paps, that is completely – “

“NO, IT’S NOT. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW. NOW LEAVE BEFORE I DECIDE TO TELL EVERYONE JUST WHAT I HEAR BETWEEN YOU AND RED!”

“Well, it was nice catching up with everyone but we’ve gotta go, right babe? Bye!” Red said as he teleported the two of them out of there. Papyrus sat down on the barstool with a huff of irritation. There was a beat of silence, everyone waiting for Sans to return. When nothing happened, they all took a breath.

Edge sat down next to Papyrus with an exhausted sigh. The other two got up and left, bidding their own goodbyes and leaving them alone to their date. Once they’d settled into a peaceful silence, they cuddled up close to each other.”

“Sorry about –“

“Don’t be,” Edge replied.

“But –“

“No buts. Let’s just enjoy our date…” Edge replied softly, his voice still a little hoarse from the screaming. Papyrus nodded and leaned against him. “What are you drinking?” Edge asked.

Papyrus perked up immediately. “It’s a milkshake! Want to try it?” Edge smiled and nodded. He took a small sip out of the same straw and winced a little. “Not a fan of vanilla?”

“Are there any other flavors?”

“Oh, yeah! There’s strawberry and chocolate and mint. Grillby can you get us some samples?” Grillby nodded. A few minutes later, he came back, and Edge tried them. He found he liked chocolate better. They ordered another and waited for Grillby to make it.

They stayed there, cuddled up on the barstools. He was contemplating what activities they could do for the rest of their date when, Edge said, “Hey, do you think the jukebox still works?”

Papyrus beamed at the idea. It had been fixed just last week, after all, and he was dying to try it out.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! If you want to check out my Tumblr, it's https://sxh1417.tumblr.com/ !  
> Don't be afraid to tell me what you think about the story in the comments below!


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